Bigger Than My Body

from Phantom Cries by Kashimana

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about

Bigger than my body is a song about two things.
1. The healthcare systems and how they do not support the whole person through the transition especially post-partum.
2. The expansion that happens before and especially post-partum.
Sometimes the stretch felt amazing and superhuman and other times I felt too thin. The changes were bigger than me and longing to be seen bigger than a number on a chart or just a body to be dealt with. I am body, mind, soul, the combination of where I come from, my experiences, where I have been. who I have met and those that have gone before me in the past and future. Here and now Bigger Than My Body.

lyrics

Ah Yi Yi Yi
Ah Yi Yi Yi
Ah Yi Yi Yi
Ah Yi Yi Yi
Aaah Ah Uh
Aaah Ah Uh
Aaah Ah Uh
Aaah Ah Uh

Who am I? Woman, mother, black, skin and bones
Who are you? Naive, Focused, Torn, scared, unemployed
What do we do? Be silent, nurse, cry, explain, laugh and sh
Who questions why? you, me, they, them, us, what the ****?

I'm stronger than the old me
But more fragile than the old me
I'm gentler than old me
I expect more from the old me
More exhausted than the old me
There's more beyond the old me
Will I ever feel like the old me
I feel bigger than my body
Bigger than my body
Bigger than my body
Bigger than my body

Who goes there? Mother, doctor, nurse, doula, husband, wife
Who will lie? Strangers, blood, tubes, stress, a number on the chart
Who will survive? Mother, child, cord, mind, placenta, numb
Are you prepared? Prenatal, postpartum, love, time will heal the pain

I'm stronger than the old me
but more fragile than the old me
I'm stronger than the old me
But more fragile than the old me
I'm gentler than old me
I expect more from the old me
More exhausted than the old me
There's more beyond the old me
Will I ever feel like the old me
I feel bigger than my body
Bigger than my body
Bigger than my body
Bigger than my body
Bigger than my body (Bigger than my body)
Bigger than my body (Bigger than my body)
Bigger than my body (Bigger than my body)
Bigger than my body (Bigger than my body)

credits

from Phantom Cries, released July 28, 2023
Music and Lyrics: Kashimana Ahua
Singing and Vocals: Kashimana Ahua, Aja Parham, Sarah O’ Neil, Alicia Steele
Drums and Percussion: Glory Yard
Bass: Khary Jackson (Khary J)
Engineering, Mixing and Mastering: Matt Patrick
Recorded: The Library Studio

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Kashimana Saint Paul, Minnesota

Kashimana is a multi-talented artist who wears many hats mother, musician, composer, producer, and teaching artist. Their music evokes profound emotions with its beautiful blend of soulful vocals, acoustic R&B, folk, and Afro-funk. Kashimana's performances are a raw and authentic expression of vulnerability, infused with joy and pain seeking to heal, comfort, inspire and ignite life and love. ... more

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